Pandemic 2020

In talking with people from around the country it has become clear to me that we are all, to some degree, suffering with grief.

The Pandemic of 2020 might go into the history books as the little virus that brought the world to a stand still, but will there be a footnote about the enormous emotional toll it took on people worldwide?

One of the closest friends to grief is fear. Fear is the first to show its face when we experience loss. We fear failing to get our basic needs met. We fear losing control over those things in life that we depend on, our jobs, our relationships and even our sense of our own identity.

The Covid19 pandemic has crept into our lives and we are grieving the loss of our roles, our routines and our freedoms. Perhaps, hardest of all, we are grieving the loss of contact with those we care about most. Living through a pandemic has temporarily reshaped our lives and the result is grief.

Feeling the effects of fear, stress, or loss saps our energy. Regardless whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, grief can drain our emotional energy stores. Without understanding why, we can become sullen, irritable or fatigued. Many of my clients report feeling guilty for having so much extra time but getting so little done.
It makes sense. Worrying about getting one's basic needs met is emotionally draining. Will the store have the foods that I need? Will I have the money to pay for my medication? Have I touched something that has been contaminated? When our minds become overwhelmed with thought such as these, concentrating becomes more difficult and mental fatigue sets in.

So, when my clients want to know how to get past their emotional fatigue I give them homework.

• First, don’t kick yourself while you're down. Acknowledge that you, and everyone in your inner circle, is experiencing the same thing and be merciful to yourself and others. Allow yourself to have a day to do nothing or to soak in the tub and read. Recharging your emotional energy a little each day will give you the boost you need to carry on in a more productive way.
• Second, let go of those things you cannot control and take charge of those things you can control. You may not have control over the pandemic or who the virus attacks but you do have control over keeping you and your family safe by washing your hands and obeying the shelter in place guidelines. You may not be able to get out of your house or go to work but you can create happy, family memories. Spend time with your family doing things that you typically do not have the time to do. Make lemonade.
• Third, allow yourself to grieve. Your world has changed. Your life has been impacted. Find productive ways to release your anger and your despair. If you have children, help them to release their feelings as well. They may not verbalize their grief but they are feeling it.

There are many ways to release fear, anxiety and grief.

• Talking helps enormously. Talk to your friends and give them permission to talk to you about their grief. Realizing you aren’t alone is powerful medicine.
• Keep a journal. Release those feelings and put them onto paper instead of harboring them in your soul.
• Exercise is a great physical way to release tension. During your routine think about how you can turn negative thoughts into positive actions.
• Breathe. Take a few minutes each day to close your eyes and slow down. Concentrate on your breathing and for a few moments block out the world and relax your mind.

Remember, we are all in this together. You are not alone. And eventually, the world will get back on track.